Don't overcome imposter syndrome, manage it.

At the heart of imposter syndrome is the fundamental human need to belong. Here is how you can manage the feeling.

Note: this is an article written for an audience new to a position, trying to get a promotion, switch careers/titles, or understand more about imposter syndrome.  Comic Credit: Bioscope

👋 Hello! This week we discuss a topic we have all heard about and most likely experienced - Imposter Syndrome. I first heard about Imposter Syndrome a few months into working at Facebook. I was confiding in a colleague and friend about how nervous I felt about my performance at work and was concerned about losing my job at any point. My friend pointed out that I was dealing with Imposter Syndrome. “Imposter what?” I blurted out in shock. She explained what Imposter Syndrome was, I remained unconvinced that I had it.  I didn’t think the syndrome was applicable to me because in mind I was genuinely unqualified to work at Facebook given my limited coding experience. 

Since then, I have spent years trying to “overcome” imposter syndrome. “You are not an imposter Zainab” I would repeat to myself before high stake events I felt completely unqualified for. It was frustrating to see that no matter how high I grew in my career, and no matter how many mantras I told  myself, I still felt like an imposter.  As I moved in my career, imposter syndrome lingered around.

After a couple of years of fighting, struggling and learning about imposter syndrome, I have come to realize that imposter syndrome is not something you overcome, but rather something you manage.  

Here is a primer on how. 

First, the basics - What does Imposter Syndrome at work really mean?

Imposter Syndrome as a term originated in the 1970s to describe the feeling of being a “fraud” or “failure”. Since then tons of research shows that the syndrome is highly prevalent at work amongst both men and women. 

Some facts regarding Imposter Syndrome to bust common myths: 

- Everyone feels imposter syndrome (though women can experience it more than men)

- Imposter syndrome is strongly felt in overachievers

- Past experience is not an indicator of future job success

- A bit of imposter syndrome feeling is healthy - it shows you are being challenging 

Why we feel Imposter Syndrome:

It is important to understand ‘the why’ behind Imposter Syndrome so we can connect the dots better between what we feel and how we act.

We discussed last week that at the heart of influence is trust, at the heart of Imposter Syndrome is validation. Am I good enough? We are genetically programmed to be tribal and feel like we belong. It is hence natural to seek validation.

Our need to feel validated starts early in our lives. Factors that trigger validation and hence imposter syndrome include:

1. Childhood: How we were raised influences what kind of validation we seek later in life. Did our parents expect an A+ instead of an A? Did we receive acknowledgement for our work?

2. Education: Did we have a supportive learning environment? Did we get mocked in school by our peers or teachers for our learning capabilities?

3. Work: Is our manager encouraging and supportive? Does our work environment reward success?

4. Representation: Are you perceived as being representation for entire group or gender/race with your capabilities? For example, if you are a person of color, or a female, you might feel additional pressure to prove that person of color or being female does not make you any less competent.

5. Stranger: Are you the first in your family or with your background to be in this position? When you are the first at something, you may have an underlying sense of feeling like you don’t really belong.

6. Self-fulfilling thoughts: Hurting oneself by thinking we cannot do something which in turn results in lack of action. You think you can’t do XYZ, so you end up procrastinating which in turn fuels mental confirmation that you can’t do XYZ.

Depending on the situations we face, we will experience imposter syndrome to varying degrees at some point. For some of us, imposter syndrome may be triggered as a result of experiencing  a  lack of validation through all of the above areas, for others it might be only a few of those. 

For most people, imposter syndrome results in a feeling of fear, guilt, or uncertainty which in turn leads to procrastinating or using downplaying language as a self-protection measure. 

Here is how Imposter Syndrome shows up at work:

-Reluctance to ask for a raise or high stakes project

- Hesitation to negotiate a better offer package

- Down playing impact during performance review cycles

The key to handling Imposter Syndrome is to manage, not overcome it. Why? 

The higher you rise in your career, the more likely you are to face issues you have not faced before. It is natural to feel nervous or a level of unpreparedness when it comes to managing your work. Nobody has knowledge about everything. It is okay and natural to feel nervous and not as well qualified. The bigger your dreams, the more you challenge yourself, the more likely you are to feel like an imposter.

The more you do to show up and face situations in spite of imposter syndrome, the better you will get at managing the feeling and moving forward no matter what stories your mind makes up to justify how you are feeling.  

Situations on how to handle Imposter Syndrome at work:

Writing your self review

Step One: Accept the feeling, don’t try to fight it.

You are going to feel what you feel based on the myriad of experiences you have had. Connect the dots with how you feel to past triggers: “ How I feel is completely normal because of ___”  

Step Two: Clarify your impact with 1-3 key facts. Watch out for downplaying language.

Question the use of words “just” and “help” when you start describing your work. Do you really want to downplay your work by using “just”? If you have used “help” ask “What did I actually do?” Be more specific. (Count the number of times you use either of these two words in a workday. The answer might surprise you!) There is nothing wrong with using these words, however, when used habitually, they can downplay the work you do. For example, don’t say “I helped the team with the launch” Be specific and clarify how you helped the team. Say, “I built the launch tracker for this product. ”

Step Three: Review your self review with a peer and ask for feedback. 

This will help you further catch down-playing language and get validation on how you express your work. We are much better about encouraging others than ourselves so your peers can help you catch language that is down playing your role. 

Real life example to apply the strategies above:

Before:

This half I took upon lots of challenges and grew myself as an engineer. I helped the team ship a key feature improving revenue 1%. I also helped other engineers on-board when they joined the company. This helped get them to quickly learn the techniques and development environment.

After:

I contributed significantly this quarter.  First, I showed my strong technical skills by leading one of the company’s most impactful experiments. This experiment alone grew revenue by 1%. Second, I mentored 2 new engineers. As a result of my mentorship, both engineers on-boarded in half the time.

Nothing changed about the person’s work in the examples above, but how it was expressed and perceived did. Notice the use of specific language (versus vague vocabulary like “help”) and focus on 1-2 key facts in the revised version.

Managing Imposter Syndrome is a mental game, and the good news is that you can change your mind. 

Office Hours

If you have a specific situation you want to get advice on or practice a conversation with me, feel free to sign up for my office hours here. I would love to meet you! 

Interesting Read

To dive deeper, check out The secret thoughts of successful women. While the book focuses on women, it is helpful across the board. 

Until next time, stay safe.
👋 Zainab